I was lamenting to D'Wife how lax my training for the Distance Run has been this summer. I've been doing the miles and checking the pacing, but I really am having a tough time motivating myself. I was talking to Doe today and he's in the same boat. Even though he's still ticked at himself for not pushing just a little bit harder and coming in under 1:30 at Broad Street, he's not really trying hard to break 9:00 miles in September.
"What do you care, anyway?" D'Wife asked me last night, "You're old. You started slowing down a long time ago. You'll never be fast again and Doe's going to kick your butt."
As laid in bed this morning, after being woken up by the old-fashioned rumble of a cropduster, flying low over my house at 5:40AM ["Hm, I'm about 20 minutes behind schedule" - grab pillow, roll over]. Those words came back to me ... along with the "Age-Old Question"
Are you running to something, or from something?
When I dream of running ...
[Yes, I have dreams about running; biking, swimming, cycling and surfing, too ... as well as forgetting my High School locker combination; being in a meeting I have no business attending; driving up a very high and very steep bridge only to come careening down the other side like a dive-bomber; and the always entertaining levitating office chair - which can fly and hover at a considerable altittude with no means of propulsion or safety equipment of any kind (just me, in a chair, floating over the city at 5,000 feet]
When I dream of running ... I'm usually running to something, in a race situation, sometimes a triathlon. There is the finish line and, of course, a beer. There are the ones where I can't find my shoes, though. I wonder what that's about?
Cycling, generally I'm riding from something [not always bad guys or police or mountain lions or flying monkeys, but often enough]. Swimming and surfing dreams, find me hanging out in the water, not really going anywhere, until the tsunami comes, then I paddle like hell!!!
On the way home from work today, I realized that I'm running to as much as I'm running from.
I'm running to:
Friends
Happiness
Inspiration
The future
Peace
Travel/adventure
Conversely, I'm running from:
Anger
Fear
Depression
My past
Age
Failure
On good days, I finish closer to the "to's" than the "from's"; on the days I'm on the "from" side, I just remind myself that there's always tomorrow.
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Tell D'wife she's dreamin', LOL. (You'll need to watch the Aussie movie The Castle to see the humour in that) - you're not old. Was reading a Runners World article today about people running marathons in their 80's. I like your list of running to's, and can relate to the lack of motivation. I will run for wine though.
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